There are approximately two months more before we’ll become SENIORS: the role models, the leaders, and yes, the heir and heiresses of the throne which is rightfully ours. Wahahaha! Well, time’s really runs fast. It gives me a feeling of nostalgia. Sigh! I can still remember some fragments of my freshman year… when everything was fresh and new and I didn’t even know anybody except for the guidance counselors and my one and only schoolmate from elementary. I just want to share to you the drastic drama of entering high school that I experienced almost three years ago.

*On the first day of high school, all my classmates were total strangers. I hated the “introduce yourself” session. FYI: Everyone hated it.

*On the second day of high school, I was late. The class laughed at me because I didn’t know where the SPSO was.

*My mother would accompany me and fetch me from school.

*I was culture-shocked that it took me almost the whole school year to become well-adjusted. People pray there more or less 16 times a day, most teachers were young and upbeat (our teachers in elementary were old and grumpy), the admittance slips, and multitudes more… amazed me.

*I was afraid in committing a mistake during recitation. It was like, “Okay, I’ll recite later.” Then, “later” would come and I’d feel unsure of my answer and I’d say “I’ll recite later” again. Again. And again. I was also shy in volunteering to join extra-curricular activities.

*I didn’t know what Newsette was until I finally had a copy of it.

*I detested some of the upperclassmen that whenever I would see their faces in the school publication, my stomach would churn and my face would burn up. Some of those older kids would “bully” us in small irritating/humiliating/terrifying doses. Arrrgh!!! Those human rights violators made me feel like a genuine underdog!!! But there was this senior guy whom I looked up as a role model. I would always say to myself, “When I’ll be in fourth year, I wanna be just like him.” XP

*When I topped our first long quiz in Speech about English sounds and their spelling (I’m lovin’ it!), like the /iy/ and /I/ for example, our Speech teacher flashed a wide grin at me! That made my day extra-”YIPPPPPEEEE!” I can still remember when he used to call me Ms. Suller (pronounced as /’Sal-er/ with a flair instead of /Sul-’yer/, which was the right one.) Haha!

*I had tried making my Business Math assignment inside the bus. I was deriving formulae and was using my calculator but my head seemed spinning. When I arrived at school, I felt like puking.

*I didn’t do 90% of our assignments in AP in the first two quarters practically because our teacher wasn’t checking them.

*During our Science class at 1:00 PM, the ambience was perfect for a cat nap: the warm afternoon temperature, the tedious discussions, and the boring lessons. There was a time when I could no longer keep my eyes open that I fell asleep, amazingly, with the proper sitting position of an awake person.
*Shhh… I had already tried doctoring our class financial statement. ^^

There were also many happy good times if you’re already concluding that all I experienced was double trouble. Whew. I realized that I had really grown-up. There are many things that changed in me since I was in first year especially in my attitude…like being more brave and postive than before.

One thing’s for sure: I’ll be making my senior year the BEST… EVER!!!

Here is the list of my goals:

*Review WELL for college entrance exams (on a daily basis). B-)

*Practice playing the piano every day.

*Draw, draw, draw!!!

*Get up after getting eight hours of sleep. Don’t oversleep!!!

*Walk when the place that I’ll be going to is near except when it is too hot!

*Learn how to cook.

Well, you can count my goals with your fingers and they are not that intricate. Haha. If you set a lot of goals, the tendency for you to break them will also be great (like I did before). I’m making sure that I can eat what I chew.

What are your plans this summer?

“…Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” -Matthew 5:37

]]> http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/2009/04/82/feed/ http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/2009/04/gods-promises/ http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/2009/04/gods-promises/#comments Fri, 03 Apr 2009 05:14:00 +0000 chocolatepaper http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/?p=76
MyHotComments
Are you having a hard time that it seems there is no way out? Do you feel like your dreams will never come to reality? Are you tired and weary? Don’t give up! Give all your burdens to God and hold on to His promises:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” -Matthew 7:7

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” -Philippians 4:6

“Therefore do not worry… Indeed your Father in heaven knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” -Matthew 6:33

“If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.” -John 15:7

“If you remain in My word, you will truly be My disciples.” -John 8:31

“…According to your faith will it be done unto you.” -Matthew 9;29

“So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” -Mark 11:24

“Wait eagerly for the Lord…” -Psalm 37:34

“I will go before you and level the mountains… so that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.” -Isaiah 45:2-3

“Glory be to God, who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” -Ephesians 3:20

I have experienced many challenges in life and whenever I become victorious, it’s all because of God. I reflect on His word and continue believing. EVEN WHEN THINGS SEEM IMPOSSIBLE, HE MAKES THEM POSSIBLE. Indeed, He is faithful. He is our Savior.

MyHotComments

I looked around. Some were taking pictures. Others were conversing. I tried to spot some high-profile people from the crowd. Hmm… Tina wasn’t there yet. Karen M. was there. Her hairstyle was conspicuous. And I noticed that my former photographer wasn’t there. Sigh! He was replaced by a younger guy whom I have nothing to do about. I observed my probable future father-in-law talking with his son like they’re just plain old buddies. Cool! I began daydreaming… I felt having a hearty heap of laughter but I repressed it so not as to profane the formalities of the occasion. Karen smiled.

My eyes wandered off with more distance. I saw Romeo. Our eyes met. I didn’t feel sparks. Just queasiness in my stomach.

7:35 A.M. The band began playing. We began marching in the aisle in the gym. Straight posture. Chin up. With a smile. Then we prayed, sang the national anthem, and took our seats.

The awarding ceremony followed. Freshmen first.

We clapped for them. I believe that every achiever deserves applause whether he/she is an honor student, a liturgical awardee, or an outstanding class officer.

Meanwhile, I and DJ had some chitchat at irregular intervals. We talked about irrelevant things and laughed. I handed Tina my copy of Taylor Swift’s “Fearless” album. But she forgot Ne-Yo’s “Year of the Gentlemen.” She had me mad. Karen saw her “vampire” and that was terrific! Another last look before he’ll say bye-bye. I let her read my poems but she seemed immune to them.

The sophomores went on the stage. We were still on our seats. My classmates started retouching. DJ was looking unto his virtual mirror: his cellphone.

Then, it was the juniors’ turn. We went onstage. Straight posture. Chin up. With a smile. My grandma had a slight confusion before finding me. She put my medal around my neck and attached my ribbon. My lips weren’t petrified like before. Click! We posed. Click! Karen M., Spencer, and I took a step and bowed.

At 9:35 A.M., the ceremony ended. The students together with their proud parents went home. But I was neither with my parents. I was with my grandma. And we went to a fancy restaurant and had a great time.

It seemed like a usual recognition day but there was something very special about it: we were all happy. ^^

When he passes by the hallway,
All I wish is for him to stay
He looks at me, I feel butterflies
But I couldn’t raise my eyes

Because I don’t know what I want

Pages of my notebook are scribbled with poetry
It’s like he’s all that interests me
Writing down the words my heart longs to scream
But I don’t admit they’re dedicated to him

Because I don’t know what I want
The next thing I know, he calls me on the phone
Surprised, locked up in my room, alone
The girls in school undoubtfully envy me
But I just smile and laugh along in glee

Because I don’t know what I want

I almost got him down on his knees
Waiting for a “yes” to come out of my lips
But I stepped back and said, “I don’t know”
“It’s getting late… I have to go”
Because I don’t know what I want
My friends say I take him for granted
And I should have kissed him that night instead
But I couldn’t deny that I believe he’s my prince
He’s a major reason why my world’s turnin’.

Because he’s all that I want.

Matagal na rin nang huli kong in-update ang blog ko. Ilang mga buwan na rin ang nagdaan ngunit lagi kong itong ipinagpapaliban… dahil isa akong procrastinator…at masahol pa dun, isang perfectionist (kahit naman na anong gawin ko, ‘di ako magiging perpekto.) Oras-oras ang ginugugol ko. Malas na lang ‘pag di ko na nagagawa ang iba pang dapat kong gawin, tulad ng pag-aaral sa Geometry. Pinag-iisipan ko nang mabuti ang bawat salitang gagamitin. Gusto ko kasi dati, pang-Palanca award ang mga isinusulat ko. Joke!!! Nakakainis nga lang kasi tila nasasayang na lahat ng magagandang ideya… lumilipad, naglalaho. MInsan naman, nahahawa lang ako sa ugali ni Juan Tamad.

Kailangan ko nang magbago - isang reporma para maging mas produktibo naman ang aking career. LOL! Kahit na maiikling blog posts lang, pwede na basta’t nailabas ko ang mga hinanakit ko, mga sakit ng ulo, heartaches… maisalaysay ang aking mga pangarap, maisigaw ang nasa isip ko, at kahit na anu-ano pa tungkol sa aking buhay. Pwede na rin siguro kung medyo patapon, medyo lang ha, tulad ng blog entry na ito. Ay hindi pala. Kahit na simple basta makabuluhan, ayos na. Suko na ako. Siguro nga ay talagang kung tinamaan ka ng inspirasyon, dapat ay huwag mong bitawan iyon tulad ng paghawak sa isang winning lottery ticket. Tse. Pasensya na kung may mga typo dahil tinatamad na akong iretoke pa ang mga ito.

Hay… sana’y gumaling na nga ang aking sakit sa bato… bato-gan… batugan.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The stains that you have left in my memory

Can’t be washed away by the raging waves of
the sea

I have always mused on how you can stupefy
me

The times you keep me like a doll for
company

I’m like a drunkard severely drunk

I still don’t know how my heart sank

My mind cannot remember any of your flaws

But being with you is sweeter than breaking
laws

Without a warning, you disappear
mysteriously

Your absence means a dreadful death to me

But what our exchange of vows, “Death do us
part?”

Though we are like engaged, we are torn
apart

Like a child, I cry on my bed

I cringe; I will wait, but my heart have
bled

These red, red roses that you have given me

Prick me, until blood flows profusely

But still, there are stains on my memory

Your laughter can’t be carried away by the
sea

May you please come back? It’s an urgent
need

Because it’s only you whom I want to be
with.

MyHotComments

I wasn’t feeling well. I had a fever. We waited for almost an hour for a silly acrobatic show to start. While waiting, I wrote a poem. Karen M. enjoyed reading it, for it’s not the oh-so-deep type that I used to write and it has witty rhymes. What a nice way to kill time!

Finally, after almost an hour, the show started. The acrobats formed death-defying stunts that ordinary persons like you and me couldn’t do. There was the so-called telescope formation, the “rolling ball” formation, etc. But I wasn’t in the mood to jeer and laugh. In contrast, the crowd was so excited and astounded. They were really enjoying themselves. How did I know? Well, I heard girls and gays at my back giggling over the men with big bodies. They were mesmerizedand they took the effort to memorize some of the names of those guys. I heard them saying, “Ah… Si Allan pala yun!” “Uy!!! Ang gwapo! ^_^ Aayyyy!!! Ang pangit nung iba! Di ko type! >:-( ” When the acrobats did some sort of tumbling in slow motion, they said, “Ang smooth! Ang cute!” But you should have seen our adviser’s constant smiling. It’s a phenomenon.

The clown kept on sticking out his tongue. He even blew kisses and ran after beautiful girls. He asked some gutsy volunteers from the audience to join him in doing a trick – the revolving basketball on the thumb! In that case, it should have been Ma’am Borje or Sir Abat because of popular demand. Anyway, he crowd cheered for the funny clown by doing the hand moves of “the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!” But when he started boasting and asking us if he can also do stunts even if he can’t, we requited him by saying a plain “hindi!” I also did my favorite “Whatever, yaya!” sign and the “Yaya, you’re such a loser!” sign.

There was a man who was walking on a rope who danced and shook his butt. There was a graceful gymnast who did a split and flexed with her hoolahoop. There was a performer who placed about ten chairs atop each other There was a basketball game wherein the acrobats in green were called to represent our school while the men in blue would represent the acrobatics team.

Amazed? Yes. Felt fear for the performers? Of course. As much as a dash of pepper. Happy? A little bit. By 8%.

Maybe I’ll be fine tomorrow. Hopefully. [:

Unnoticed

I pretended to be strong

But I guess I was wrong

I can’t stay like this for long

In a melodramatic song

Even lunatic clowns can’t make me happy

Maybe it’s meant to be

You and I… we’re torn by destiny

Your smile… it’s killing me

Beautiful is the pain

Like I’m always crying in the rain

Though it’s kind of insane

To be hurt when she calls your name

Words are left unspoken

Is this hell or heaven?

To let my heart be taken

By someone who has left me forsaken.

]]> http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/2009/01/unnoticed/feed/ http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/2008/12/all-i-want-for-christmas/ http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/2008/12/all-i-want-for-christmas/#comments Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:37:30 +0000 chocolatepaper http://chocolatepaper.blog.friendster.com/?p=43

Christmas parties! Kris Kringles! Presents! Tralalalalalalala!

So, if you’re planning to be my secret Santa this year, savour these hints on what to give me for this merry season…

1.  A pair of eyeglasses with a super-thick frame

Don’t get me wrong. I have a 20/20 vision. I want my glasses to be maroon or black. Anyway, Ninoy’s glasses would be an excellent choice.

2.  I Am Ninoy t-shirt from Penshoppe

I want to feel the fire of nationalism burning inside of me! Truly, “The Filipino is worth dying for.”

3.  Alicia Keys’ Latest Album

The musical genius, the role model, the Grammy Award’s –give it up for Alicia Keys! I really appresiate her style in playing the piano. Her songs like “No One” and “Teenage Love Affair” are always my LSS.

4.  Black Forest Cake

I go bonkers for this cake. Yummy.

5.  Paulo Coelho’s books

I have already read “By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept” and “The Alchemist.” He’s one of my favorite authors.

6.  Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ books

Karen M. recommends his works to me. Hmmm… I wanna read ‘em too.

Sounds pricey, huh? Well, it is not necessary that you give me the things on my wish list. I am not that picky… I will be happy to receive any gift as long as it came from your heart.

And for those  included in my naughty and nice list… beware! Haha.